Are you blind to color? What do you see when you see me?

Reading Colorblindness is the New Racism by Armstrong and Wildman felt as though I am standing in front of a mirror that didn’t flatter me. This article is a pinnacle of hard truth that could be difficult for many to accept and digest. This truth is  raw and uncomfortable,  but necessary for the progression of our society. As I read each page, I could feel my foundation shift within me, hindering me from returning to business as usual. As a Caribbean, foreign-born, holistic nurse and woman of color, I embraced this article for ALL that it possessed. The author did not just speak volumes to my mind but allowed cries to be heard from the depths of my soul without even having to utter a word. Their work reminded me that neutrality and complacency in the face of injustice is an unvirtuous complicity dressed up in silence and acceptance. No matter how it is phrased or “justified” this silence and avoidance IS a part of such a massive problem.

In the text we learn, Colorblindness creates a false sense of sameness, a comfort for those in power, while erasing the identities and systemic struggles of marginalized people. The depth of this statement alone has the power to dismantle the current societal standards and realities within our world today. How can we not recognize the massive elephant in the room? Although we all may be humans attempting to succeed in this concept we call life, can we truly say or believe that we are all having the same experience in this world? If we are unable to acknowledge and address the differences amongst us that relate to race, class, sex, age, etc., we allow the issue to fester and infect many parts of our life’s experience. Although we are all humans, there are structural and societal pillars that are erected amongst us that contribute to the oppression, privilege, discrimination, and  hardship that many of us are bound to experiencing. How can we not see color? Even though you may personally choose to turn a blind eye, rest assured that the world around us definitely sees and categorizes us based on the color of our skin.

For a woman of color, who has fell victim to such marginalization, I MUST see color. The color of my skin IS me. It is a part of my history, character, and morale.  When someone says, “I don’t see color,” I hear “I don’t see you.” They don’t see the layers that make up my story…my history…my life’s experience. When you ignore or diminish one’s color, you miss the rich tapestry of our roots, accent, skin, scars, and victories. This attempt of avoiding conflict or making others uncomfortable with hard conversation is not unity or peace…it is erasure.

This article brought me right back to Allan Johnson’s Privilege, Power, and Difference, which left a lasting mark on my heart. Johnson says, “Privilege exists when one group has something of value that is denied to others simply because of the groups they belong to.” That “invisible backpack” of privilege isn’t just theoretical to me…it is our reality. It’s the reason I may have  to work twice as hard to be seen as qualified, or why I’ve walked into rooms where my presence was questioned before I even spoke a word, or even why some patients who may look like me often receive second-rated, subpar care that is if they are able to receive any substantial care at all.

I think back to a patient who walked into the clinic with a roofing nail lodged deep in his hand. The man was bleeding, in pain, and in need of immediate assistance. However, because of his low socioeconomic status, inability to communicate efficiently in English, along with him not being familiar with the medical process and system, he was turned away to fend for himself. The system did not see this man’s humanity. They were more concerned with his status and means of payment and access. I could remember standing there fighting with administrative staff and doctors, even offering to assess and cleanse his wound or pay for his visit myself just to see rest and relief come to this very desperate and anxious man. All my attempts to treat him like the human being he was were all deemed as “inappropriate” and “unnecessary” as there were “plenty” of facilities that could be of help for “someone in his situation”. I watched that man leave in tears, still confused about what to do and where he would be able to go and feel accepted and cared for.

This moment haunts me to this day. I wasn’t allowed to help, even though everything in me knew that I could. This wasn’t just policy, it was privilege doing its dirty work. Why must we even go through all these steps and hoops just to be able to receive the care that we openly deserve? How does this system account for people like this patient, myself, or many others who may not be as fortunate, learned, or privileged?  I often sit and ponder on whether things would be different if that patient presented looking and speaking in a different way. Would they have found a means to even offer him a normal saline wash or clean gauze to walk outside with even if we were unable to officially treat him?  Just like Johnson says, “People make systems happen through their choices and behaviors, but they are also shaped by those systems.” This colorblind system didn’t just fail this man, it broke him. As a witness and victim to it myself, it also broke me.

“Colorblindness supports institutional racism by refusing to name or address it.” The power within this one sentence hit me like a tidal wave. If people are uncomfortable to even utter the work “racism”, how do we ever expect to combat it? It is the most delusional sense of denial, a delay tactic, that elongates the chance of justice each time we engage in it. Armstrong and Wildman are sure to emphasize that colorblindness is not an act of maturity or kindness. We cannot ignore a blazing fire that was meant to destroy everything within its path, making all that is left useless and unrecognizable. Colorblindness is a barrier and means to shut down conversations before they even begin. It allows people, especially those in dominant racial groups, to remain comfortable, disconnected, and untouched by the realities people of color endure every day. It gives people a pass to allow the constructs of our depraved society to continue to build amongst the generations. It counteracts the healing  presence, accountability, and advocacy that is needed for a better tomorrow for ALL.

I want to share a resource that reinforces this truth from a clinical and psychological lens. The American Psychological Association’s article on the dangers of racial colorblindness affirms that ignoring race doesn’t promote equality but  perpetuates harm. It increases bias, lowers empathy, and discourages accountability. This will never be harmony, but avoidance dressed as virtue. I was also able to come across a TED Talk, delivered by Anthony Peterson, an African American man, who speaks on the disparities of race and color as derived from conversations and experiences with his Caucasian grandchildren. You can learn more from his video on Youtube recalling all these truths: https://youtu.be/u5GCetbP7Fg?feature=shared. Additionally, Vox produced a short Youtube video that debunks all the myths of racism and challenges the idea of colorblindness within  today’s society. This can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnfKgffCZ7U

As I read this article, I found myself tearing up, feeling passionately motivated and driven. There is so much more to this life than just being and existing. We are called to make a difference, leave a stamp, and be a catalyst for change for all those we encounter. This is not just a concept of ideas and theories. These are lives at stake! This greater than just me!  It’s about my patients, family, ancestors, and future generations that deserve a life of freedom and equality.  This is for my younger self, little Schae, growing up in Brooklyn who didn’t know how to speak up when the world told her she was too foreign…too brown… too “different.” As a healer and advocate, I refuse to remain silent and turn a blind eye to what our nation is crying out for, a society that sees, hears, considers, and understands ALL people from ALL walks of life.

As a nurse, a woman of faith, and an advocate for holistic healing, I know that healing starts with truth and awareness. This article, although uncomfortable for some, was a sacred truth that needed to be told. It reminded me that healing, authentic healing, requires us to feel the pain, speak the truth, and break the silence. One may ask where do we go from here? Well,  open YOUR eyes. SEE the colors all around you. Honor and respect everyone’s identity and humanity. Make space for the voices that have been silenced, stories that have been overlooked, and pain that has been subdued. Commit not just in word, but in ACTION. SPEAK UP and SAY SOMETHING! GET UP and DO SOMETHING! This effort is not one driven by guilt, but a call for growth and prosperity. As Johnson so bravely reminded us, “Justice begins where privilege is challenged.” Let’s break the chains of privilege and colorblindness shaking the foundation with a battle that will never be forgotten.